Questions of Life: .... Purpose of our existence?

What's the purpose of our existence on earth? What is the meaning of us being here? Is there any meaning? Why are we here? What's the point of our lives?

Are we here to live and die and to be forgotten? Do our lives have a purpose? What's the point of waking up tomorrow?

Why live until tomorrow if it will have the same meaning as living 30 years? Or will it have more of a meaning? If there is a meaning, then what is this meaning? Surely we won't be remembered forever. We will just be a breath of the past. Someday after our existence, surely, we will be forgotten. So then what is the point of our existence?

Why are we us?

And even if you say the point of our current life is for an after life, then I want to know what's the point of an after life? What's the point of living forever? Isn’t it selfish and conceited of us to dream of living forever? What's the point of a super happy after life? I thought there is no pleasure without pain. Let’s go with Christianity. So supposedly in heaven it would be a constant feeling of happiness so what would it be more pleasurable than? What would it be better than? You would know that your just going to be happy forever, what's the point in that? Why exist if knowing your just going to be happy and live forever? I see less point in that after life that the current life I’m living now?

At least this life has the goal of an after life. This goal gives us reason to live. It gives us hope and faith that there is better to come. But once we arrive in an after life, then what?

Being human it seems impossible for me to comprehend living an eternity. We, human beings, can't comprehend this seeing as we are only human. We live by time, we live knowing our time is going to run out. So how are supposed to be able to relate to how great an eternity would be? We’re just supposed to hope that it will be great?

Should I even try to comprehend things like this, think of the point of life, or am I just wasting my time? All I want is to find an inner peace, some contentment, to know what’s going to happen when I’m gone, when I die.

So if god really exists, why put us through this earth to then only live forever? Why not just skip earth and put us on heaven? What's the purpose of earth? If Jesus really is our god, then why did god allow us to think? Why didn't he just make us all Christians right off the bat without the ability to reason otherwise? Why does he let other religions such as Islam and Judaism thrive, when he could just make Christianity the only one?

An unthinkable amount of people have died over religious issues. How is a suicide bomber terrorist any worse than a Christian bombing an abortion clinic? Both were driven from their religious views. What's to say a Christian is better than a Muslim. Or should I say who's to say Christians are better than Muslims, not what’s to say. We're all people. No one is better than anyone else. We are not perfect. So why should one go to heaven and the other not, when neither are perfect? So why do Christians act like they deserve heaven more than anyone else? They aren’t perfect, and, surely, Jesus would understand the other religious people aren’t perfect, so shouldn’t Jesus take anyone to heaven?

I'm just a little confused with life at the moment. This post was more of a vent and, although I am looking for answers, I'm not expecting that anyone would actually read through all my ramblings, but, please, try and explain your feelings on this whole issue if you can.

All this got me to thinking….

Ok, well now I think, maybe I'm not supposed to think this much. Maybe I'm just supposed to go with the flow of life. It'd be a lot easier and I’d be a lot happier just to avoid thinking about things like this. I don't know why I do, but I do.

And lately it seems to be on my mind all the time. I here it come up places, I think about it.

It's just killing me hearing things like we all know we're going to die. The unknown is scary. No one knows what is going to happen when we die.

Some people have faith and hopes, and think there is an afterlife. Some think nothing will happen.

NO ONE KNOWS. And that fact is frightening. Everyone has their own views/ideas of what happens when we die, but it's impossible for us to know. It's scary.

Let's say Christianity is right. It's hard for me to imagine that millions upon millions of people (especially in Asia) can be wrong and are going to hell because they aren't Christians. It would be hard for me to imagine if my mom became an atheist that she would go to hell. What a great person she is and yet because she didn't declare her Christianity she can't go to heaven. And yet some murderer, ex convicted rapist, smoking, alcoholic guy will ask for forgiveness and go to heaven? And my dear mother won't?

I would think that if Jesus was so forgiving that anyone could go to heaven? Why exclude people, excluding them for not asking for forgiveness is just as bad as excluding them for sinning, in my opinion. I thought he was supposed to be perfect, and perfect to me would be for everyone to go to heaven.

No human is perfect so we're going to make mistakes. If my mistake is not having Christ in my life, why should I have to pay with eternal damnation? Why won't he forgive me? The best person in the world could go to hell, but yet the worst person in the world could go to heaven, just for asking a few words?

Honestly, I want to be a Christian, I want to believe, I want to find some answers. I want to live a long happy life and believe in god and heaven. The troubling thing is that I don't know if there is an answer set in stone, but I’m looking. I'm just having a lot of trouble putting faith into anything. I wish, more than anything else, that I could put faith in god, and become a Christian, and live a happy life.

Maybe it's because I'm young, cynical, and pessimistic. I hate that I am cynical and pessimistic, and I'm trying to fight it. But it’s so hard to change and I'm trying, but sometimes I don’t know if I’m trying hard enough.

All of this makes me realize that one thing I have to look forward to is the future, because the future has time, and time is what I need to find these answers in my life. I recently got a girlfriend and she is Christian. She has pretty strong faith, but even she said she has questions. She wants me to be Christian, and I want to be Christian. For the both of us it would be the best thing that could happen if I did. It would bring us that much closer, make our relationship that much stronger. And more than anything I want to make that relationship stronger.

This is the longest post I've ever written, and if you've read this whole thing, which I would be surprised if anyone took the time to do, bless you.

-Kyle